


and I'm trusting my nose (will it show me the way?)

by Directionless_Foray



Series: fire and the flood [3]
Category: Tennis RPF
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Working Through Stuff, but more just
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 09:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22447765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Directionless_Foray/pseuds/Directionless_Foray
Summary: And-And it’s so funny.Would be downright hilarious, the way this feels exactly like the very meeting that kickstarted this whole fucking thing of theirs.Would be hilarious if Nick didn't feel like he was going to collapse at any minute.Nick doesn't know what to say.
Relationships: Alex de Minaur/Nick Kyrgios
Series: fire and the flood [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1612984
Comments: 11
Kudos: 27





	and I'm trusting my nose (will it show me the way?)

**Author's Note:**

> set after that AO 2020 loss to Rafa 
> 
> title from 'Red Eye' by Vance Joy (it's SUCH a good song for these two)
> 
> *** EDIT: I realise that I fucked up the location of the last little excerpt. It implies they slept at Nick’s house (I’m pretty sure he lives in Canberra(?) rip) but I also reference Melbourne and imply it was right after Nick got knocked out. BIG RIP please let’s just pretend it makes sense or maybe we can pretend Nick owns/ rented a place in melbourne instead of staying in a hotel lmao ***

After finishing up with the press, Nick ambles down the tunnel with legs like lead and-

  


And when he looks up-

  


Well.

  


Alex is waiting for him.

  


Tucked into another little corner again.

  


Waiting for _Nick._

  


And-

  


And it’s so funny.

  


Would be downright hilarious, the way this feels exactly like the very meeting that kickstarted this whole fucking thing of theirs.

  


Would be hilarious if Nick didn't feel like he was going to collapse at any minute.

  


Nick doesn't know what to say.

  


It's all the same down to the exhaustion pulling at him like it's own gravitational force, but it's also completely different. Different In a way that _hurts_ so damn much.

  


Nick doesn't know what to say.

  


So, naturally.

  


What he says is:

  


“So, you change your mind or something?”

  


Alex gives him a Look like he really wants to call Nick an asshole but won't.

  


Like he refuses to kick Nick when he’s already down.

  


Even though Nick is practically begging for it.

  


Instead.

  


Alex just-

  


Just closes the gap between them and wraps his arms around Nick’s neck, pressing his face into Nick's warm neck. 

  


His arms sneakily bullying Nick into doing the same.

  


“I am so proud of you,” he whispers fiercely into the heat of Nick's throat, “I am _nothing_ but proud of you.”

  


There are cameras in the tunnel.

  


Nick _knows_ this.

  


But he _trusts_ Alex.

  


Trusts that Alex knows what he's doing. That he's gone to the trouble of picking a corner that is just out of view of all the cameras.

  


Trusts the, “_you handle the shit out there on the court and I’ll handle everything else_,” Alex had whispered to him last night.

  


He _trusts _Alex when he can barely trust his own two legs to keep holding him up.

  


So he noses along the soft skin of Alex’s throat and lets himself melt into the embrace.

  


Lets Alex hold him up instead of his own two legs.

  


Trusts Alex more than his own body. 

  


"It's not fair, it wasn't supposed to go like this," he can't help mumbling.

  


Another Look from Alex. One that says, _did you really just say that._

  


_To me?_

  


But Alex is the gracious one today. The patient one.

  


And Nick is already down, spirit practically crumpled on the ground. 

  


Alex doesn't give him the kick he's definitely earned.

  


Instead, he just-

  


"No it isn't very fair is it?" he says evenly and Nick can't express how relieved and grateful he is that one of them is thinking rationally right now. 

  


"I'm- fuck, I'm sorry," he murmurs and Alex's expression softens a fraction.

  


"Don't apologise," he says, "you're right- it... it kind of sucks." He shrugs, "but you've got plenty to be proud of." 

  


Nick rumbles, low and bitter, "still lost."

  


Alex bites his lip, offers a sympathetic smile "that's tennis," he laughs so softly and so resigned, "you played really fucking well tonight, Nick, but he played better," and then, "you'll play even better next time, _that's tennis._"

  


In a way-

  


In a way, Nick is glad.

  


That Alex doesn't try to make excuses. Doesn't try to say something empty just to make him feel better.

  


That Alex respects him enough to tell it like it is.

  


"C'mon, let's get some food yeah?" he suggests gently.

  


And.

  


_Wow._

  


Nick smiles a little.

  


Because it is just like before.

  


And.

  


Judging by Alex's small smile. 

  


He knows it too.

  


"Pizza or noodles?" Alex asks quietly, face inches from Nick's.

  


"Noodles," Nick replies. 

  


"Okay."

  


Alex nods like-

  


Like it's nothing.

  


Like he's not Nick's lifeline right now.

  


"Let's go get some noodles then," he says simply.

  


"Thanks," Nick says quietly. 

  


The sound of his own voice-

  


It just.

  


He's talked for so long and to so many people that-

  


That it just sounds _wrong_. 

  


It doesn't sound like himself.

  


Sounds foreign to his own ears.

  


Alex levels him with another look.

  


"You would do the same thing- you would be there if I was in your position," he says bluntly. "Wouldn't you?"

  


"Yeah, obviously," Nick says without hesitation, voice hoarse. 

  


Alex smiles. Small and stubborn and really-

  


It's so _Alex_.

  


Nick could cry from how grateful he is that it's Alex who is here right now.

  


Would probably actually cry if he weren't so fucking _exhausted._

  


"So, let me do this for you," Alex says softly. 

  


Nick nods numbly and he could cry from all these feelings that he can't even begin to explain with words.

  


-

  


Nick wakes up and it's still dark.

  


His blackout curtains seem to be doing their job. 

  


Which.

  


For the price he paid for them.

  


He'd fucking hope so.

  


Still. It's never not a little bit unnerving.

  


Waking up in the dark.

  


He rolls over and-

  


And.

  


_Oh._

  


_Yeah_.

  


Alex is still asleep. 

  


Curled up with his back against the wall but angled towards Nick. 

  


_Whoosh_.

  


It's like someone punched Nick in the gut.

  


Or. 

  


A vacuum.

  


Instantaneously sucking all the air out of the room.

  


Because.

  


Well.

  


Because Alex is still here.

  


Nick isn't a winner or a hero right now and _Alex is still here_.

  


Still breathing evenly and snoring softly to himself. 

  


_Fucking- _

_  
_

_Fucking wonder of wonders._

  


Nick feels like his skin is raw and pink. 

  


Like someone covered him in burning embers overnight. 

  


Like every tiny gust of wind is ripping a streak of pin-pricks across his tender skin. 

  


Nick crawls out of bed before he can do something stupid.

  


Something he might regret.

  


Like reaching out to run a finger down the bridge of Alex's nose.

  


Or pressing a kiss to his forehead.

  


Something he might regret.

  


Something that might show his hand.

  


Because Alex-

  


Alex with his lion's heart

  


_Alex_ is the one who doesn't know how to live without his heart on his sleeve.

  


Can't conceive of living with his heart _inside_ his body like everyone else does. 

  


And Nick-

  


Nick's just another guy with his heart lodged in his throat and too much space on his sleeve for a heart he doesn't think he'll ever fully show the world. 

  


Nick crawls out of bed and leaves Alex sleeping in his bed. 

  


In the bed that smells like Nick. 

  


_Fucking-_  


  


-

  


"I really like you."

  


Nick startles from where he's stood at the kitchen island. Assembling breakfast. 

  


"Fuck," he drops the loaf of bread back onto the wooden chopping board. The whole chopping board clatters a little.

  


_At least it wasn't the eggs. _

  


He turns around to find Alex leaning against the doorway.

  


Unperturbed. 

  


Looking far too old for his 20 measly years on this planet.

  


His expression is calm.

  


An endearingly stark contrast to his messy bed hair and the boxer shorts that seem to almost be sliding off those narrow, bony hips.

  


"I just-" Alex stops.

  


Nick is watching him now.

  


Couldn't look away if he wanted to. 

  


"I get the weird feeling," a wry smile, "that you don't quite believe me." 

  


He's looking at Nick, unflinching and _wow_.

  


There are days-

  


There are days when Nick swears he could count on one hand how many people are able to do that.

  


To look at him without instinctively looking away. 

  


"Or that maybe you didn't hear me properly the first time," Alex's tone is light but Nick knows not to let his guard down.

  


Everyone who has underestimated Alex de Minaur has regretted it. 

  


"What makes you say that?" he croaks.

  


Alex crosses his arms and-

  


And maybe it's a good sign.

  


That he still looks amused more than anything.

  


That he's not visibly angry.

  


"I don't know, maybe it's when you pull shit like asking me if I've _changed my mind_ or when you wake up and then run away from me to hide in the kitchen?"

  


Nick stares down at the chopping board. The bread knife has tumbled off the wooden board and onto the marble countertop.

  


He doesn't have a response to Alex's accusation.

  


After a moment he senses some movement to his side and then Alex is next to him. Wordlessly opening drawers and pulling out plates and cutlery.

  


Throwing Nick a lifeline.

  


Again.

  


A quiet confirmation that yes, maybe-

  


_Maybe Alex is here to stay._

  


That he hasn't changed his mind,

  


Despite all the arguments to the contrary Nick has supplied him with since they met.

  


_Alex is here to stay._

  


Still quietly but unwavering as he rearranges the contents of his drawers and opens his cupboards to pull out the nice plates hidden in the back. The pale blue ones his mother bought that Nick can never be bothered using.

  


"Well?" Alex smirks a little.

  


Even his smirk is kind, tempered by fondness.

  


"You going to just keep holding that bread?" he asks casually.

  


Nick blinks and realises that he is indeed still holding the loaf of bread in his hands.

  


He silently starts cutting the loaf into thick slices.

  


Alex hums approvingly and then turns around to locate a saucepan and switches on the stove. Nick finishes slicing the bread and grabs the carton of eggs.

  


He stands next to Alex where he's heating up some oil in the pan.

  


He hands Alex the first egg and watches as he cracks it deftly on the side of the pan with one hand; Nick wordlessly holds a hand out to accept the broken shell.

  


Alex drops it in his hand and Nick tosses it in the trash.

  


Rinse and repeat until there's a pan full of eggs frying merrily away.

  


When the eggs are done, Alex holds a hand out.

  


Palm up.

  


Nick guesses and hands him one of the larger pale blue plates. The corner of Alex's lips twitch into a phantom smile and he slides the eggs onto the plate.

  


Nick pulls open the fridge and grabs the bottle of orange juice; Alex turns off the stove. Nick pours two glasses while Alex carries the eggs and bread over to the dining table that Nick never uses on the nice plates that Nick also never uses.

  


Nick trails behind him with the orange juice and then they return to the kitchen island to collect the cutlery.

  


Nick eats breakfast with Alex.

  


Alex is talking about going down to the beach in St Kilda because apparently the weather forecast is pretty decent and Nick tries valiantly to smother the warm feeling growing in his stomach that has nothing to do with the breakfast he's eating.

  


Rather-

  


The feeling of a rediscovered peace.

  


-

  


_Rediscovered_ or perhaps-

  


Discovered for the first time in his life.

  


He can't tell.

  


Especially when Alex is laughing and joking about all the touristy shit they can do now that Nick "has the time."

  


Nick smiles unconsciously.

  


_Yeah._

  


They have time. 

  


-

  


_God._

  


_He really hopes Alex stays._

  


_That he can convince Alex to stay._

**Author's Note:**

> idk if i'm explaining it right but domestic rhythms in the kitchen are my Kink. and these two are far too precious. only the best for my favourite tennis babeys 
> 
> i'll probably write something else for these two but i haven't decided what lmao
> 
> as always i am storm-in-my-teacup on tumblr do come and talk to me about these two dorks


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